Changes Needed To Derby History To Reflect Current Anti-French Trend
By: William F. Reed

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (Apr. 25, 2003) - We learn from the morning newspaper that because of differing political views between the United States and France, the menu in the U.S. House of Representatives now lists "Freedom fries" instead of "French fries."

This has to be horrible news for the publicists at Churchill Downs because, in order to follow this patriotic trend, some serious revisions must immediately be made to the Kentucky Derby history book.

Jean Cruguet, the jockey of 1977 Triple Crown winner Seattle Slew, was often called "The Frenchman." Now, of course, he must be known as "The Freedom Man."

Lucien Laurin, the trainer of 1973 Triple Crown winner Secretariat, often was identified being of "French-Canadian" descent. Now, of course, he must be known as a "Freedom-Canadian."

Francois Boutin, who trained Arazi, was a "French horseman." To keep up with the spirit of the times, it's now essential to identify him as a "Freedom horseman."

Oh, dear. Surely you can see the problems.

In the Derby media guide, it says that Paul Mellon is the only owner to win the Kentucky Derby, Epsom Derby, and Arc de Triomphe. Well, the first two are fine because they're political allies.

But I strongly suggest the Arc de Triomphe be immediately changed to "The Freedom Arch."

Jimmy Winkfield, the black jockey currently be honored in the Kentucky Derby Museum, left the U.S. to ride in several countries, including...well, what should we call it? When he retired, he even bought a farm in this country whose name is now an expletive that must be deleted.

And the poor folks at Churchill aren't the only ones with a problem.

Keeneland has the Lafayette Stakes, for heaven's sake. It was named for a fellow from a country to be named later who came to the U.S. and helped the rebels defeat the British in a fairly important war in our nation's history.

This simply will not do. I suggest the race's name be changed to the Limbaugh Stakes.

Poor UK.

In 1934, it had an All-American center named John "Frenchy" Demoisey. By the time next season's media guide comes out, surely it will have been corrected to John "Freedomy" Demoisey.

French pastry? No way. Freedom Pastry.

French horn, French door, French toast?

You know what to do with those.

French kiss? Puh-leeze. I don't even want to go there.

All I can do is hope the folks who run the U.S. House of Representatives cafeteria never get upset with Italy or Japan.

I also promise I will never bet on the filly Belterra.

That name sounds suspiciously French to me, and I want to do my patriotic duty.

Native Kentuckian William F. Reed has been a sports writer in various capacities for 43 years and has missed covering the Kentucky Derby a mere two times since 1966. He has been a high-profile sports writer in Kentucky for the Commonwealth's two largest daily newspapers, the Louisville Courier-Journal and the Lexington Herald-Leader and was a national columnist for Sports Illustrated, covering among other sports, Thoroughbred horse racing and college basketball. Reed currently pens a column for the Louisville Sports Report and covered Kentucky Derby 128 for kentuckyderby.com. He will be filing frequent installments for CDSN's (Churchill Downs Simulcasting Network) websites throughout 2003.

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