Jennifer Alderman of Carmel, Indiana
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Cancer Type: n/a
Jen: Our Rat, Our Hero, Our Warrior, Our Hope
Throughout our days at Bellarmine University, our group of girlfriends referred to ourselves as “The Rats”. While we do not recall why this term of endearment stuck, we do know it can be used as an adjective meaning: “a person who is associated with, or frequents a specified place”. And now 15 years later, although “the Rats” are scattered across the country, we still find ourselves frequenting that well-known spot: the uniquely special place in our hearts for each other. No matter what the circumstance or distance, “The Rats” have frequented each others’ days via blog posts, emails, phone calls amidst swarming toddlers, swift letters dropped in the mail, and prayers offered randomly and hopefully. We have come together for weddings, new babies, deaths, new homes, new beginnings, heartbreaks, lost dreams, adventures full of non-stop talking and laughter, and for our Annual Girls Trip Weekend.
When “our Rat”, Jen turned 34 at the end of September and then found out she had invasive, multi-centric breast cancer she wrote to us:
“A few posts ago I wrote about turning 34, and referenced a Talking Heads lyric "How did I get here?" as I felt it related to my life on that occasion. Little did I know that just a short month later, that song and those lyrics would hold even more relevance to me. On October 30, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not exactly the kind of tricks and treats I thought would be in store for us Halloween weekend. How did I get here?...
…When the doctor said the words, "I'm so sorry, it's cancer." I felt like not only had the rug been pulled out from under me, but that I had been bashed over the head with it as well….
…I've already experienced anger - I have 3 babies at home that depend on me to take care of them. I do not have time to be sick! I have felt sadness and confusion - how did this happen to me? I'm too young for this! I've felt a part of some sort of cosmic joke - I ran triathlons to raise money for cancer research! I donated my hair for wigs for cancer patients! Don't I get a "get out of cancer free" card? Apparently not. How did I get here?...
…I have also felt incredible love and support. Our family immediately jumped into action to offer anything, and our friends responded the same way. I might feel like a part of a sick joke, but I do not feel alone….
Jen’s shock and fear were experienced by “the Rats” so intensely that the “Why?” made us physically sick for her. On December 7th, Jen underwent a double mastectomy. Last week, she finished her first chemotherapy series and is now preparing for 12 rounds of Taxol.
This photo of Jen is her response to the inevitable prospect of losing her hair. It speaks volumes about the beautiful and strong person she is. With family at her side and with scissors in hand, she chose to donate her hair before losing it in battle.
Our Rat, Jen frequents the unique places in our hearts for her. Our veins tingle on her days of chemotherapy. Our eyes swell with her tears. Jen’s hope, gladiator-like courage and spunk provide our very breath and our renewed determination to live a life worth living. Jen’s grace, wisdom and quiet strength whisper to us throughout our days. Jen’s warrior-like will to survive for her husband and 3 children screams our battle cries. Jen is our hero. Jen is our warrior. Jen is our source of hope.
“The Rats”
March 11, 2010
